justicedoingthings:

“I’m not talking to you.” Gaspard says through gritted teeth. “I’ve nothing to say.”
“You’re acting like a child.” Says the shorter and newly even shorter-haired other, exasperated. “I warned you-“
“I don’t need to be blackmailed!” Snarled Gaspard, tugging on his watch and face murderous. “And you didn’t say you were going to cut it all off!”
“Why don’t we all just take a deep breath here,” the man talking to the both of them said gently. “Xavier, it’s your turn; Gaspard, please don’t interrupt.”
“Thank you.” Xavier said, eyes rolling. “Like I said, I specifically told him that it was either that dreadful hobo beard or me. Obviously, it’s still there and now he’s royally pissed.”
“Of course I’m pissed!” Gaspard all but yelled. “We look like a joke! Like the cast of Napoleon Dynamite! Why don’t we just get Pedro to wear his hair in a side ponytail so he can be Deb and we can all be freaks together?”
The man sighed, mentally blocking Gaspard’s rant on how Breakbot would make a horrible Kip and wondered what was wrong exactly with these two grown men to have ended up in marriage counseling over their hair.

THIS IS WHY I LOVE A FAN FICTION. *giggles on the workplace*